Lovers and Friends

I had a great weekend, had the opportunity to hang out with someone and be myself (which is a wonderful feeling) My delima is letting down my wall. Not sure if I should, it doesn't have anything to do with trust, but it has everything to do with falling for someone when that's not what the arrangement is. It feels great to be able to be myself and not have someone judge me, but love the fact that I have a past and have experienced things. This is the first time this has ever happened to me and I sometimes find myself saying things that contradict the nature of the "relationship" and that is not something I want to do. I am not one of those jealous women that have to be under a man all the time. Sometimes I can't help but to want to be the only woman and the more I think about it I start to feel a little bad. So do I continue to shut that part of me off? I feel like if I do then I am not being real with myself, but I am scared to let it down because it may have consequences that I am not prepared to handle. I will definitely have to think on this a little more to make the right decision for me. No one wants to be hurt and no one wants to be alone.